Mental Mess
It’s time to clean up the mental mess!
I love Dr. Caroline Leaf; she is a Christian neuroscientist who has studies the brain for decades, is the author of several books, has a podcast and many other recordings. Unlike the old school of thought that said, once you hit a certain age the brain cannot learn, she believes in the neuroplasticity of the beautiful brain. Our brain can grow, learn and change and any age. Our brains are like computers taking in information around us. The brain is constantly in this state of creating new neuropathways based on the information we absorb. We create new pathways, new habits and move beyond events in our lives when we focus on positive or new information. Dr. Leaf has worked with traumatic brain injured patients and MRI results prove that the brain regenerates and grows with each new experience, even in these devastating injuries.
We do need to regulate and take captive the information that goes into our brains. We are shaped but what is going on around us. When we being shaped by the negative culture, sin or the world around us — people’s expectations, social media, cultural dictates, toxic relationships, negative influences and so on negatively impact our development. We can lose our sense of self and start experiencing emotions like bitterness, resentment, rage, anxiety, worry, self-pity, envy, pride, jealousy, cynicism, and hopelessness. An identity crisis like this is, at its heart, an existential crisis. It’s something you must face and deal with because it cuts to the core of your being and will impact what you think and how you behave. It’s the old saying – “Garbage in creates garbage out.” We need to filter our thoughts and take our thoughts captive. (2 Corinthians 10:5) We need to transform our minds and change the way we think (Romans 12:12). We need to focus on what God wants our brains to focus on for health. (Philippians 4: 6-8).
Dr. Caroline Leaf is a best-selling author and neuroscientist. In her book Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess” she offers five proven steps to help you overcome the unhealthy thinking habits that contribute to anxiety, depression, and intrusive thoughts and replace them with positive thinking that leads to health, happiness, and success.
In a recent podcast (episode #288), Dr. Leaf talked about identity and its relationship to mental health, and how our environment shapes and impacts our individuality. When our identity has been crushed or stolen by the challenges they have faced.
Why is identity so important? An identity crisis cuts to the core of your being and value, which will impact what you think, say and do. It can, if left unmanaged, severely affect your overall wellbeing. That is why cleaning up the mental mess is so important. Our identities are developed and shaped by our connections with others, our experiences and impact we as individuals make in our world. If we are not actively thinking about and shaping our identity, we will be shaped by the world around us, which, in turn, can affect our unique sense of self and mental health.
To quote Christopher Fuchs, one of Dr. Leaf’s favorite quantum physics theorists, “it’s not about you; it’s about you in the world”. Too many people are focused on me, me and more me. Look at me, the world centers around me and are lovers of self. Newsflash: It is not about you all the time. That self-centered thought breeds entitlement, an inflated ego and loneliness when unrealistic expectations of attention, possessions and relationships are placed on the world around you. Nobody can live up to the grandiose expectations, and nobody can “fix” you. You need to be whole, 100% before any relationship or person can be added to your life. When you rely on people like a parasite does, you suck the life out of them. They either “die” or “cannot wait to get away from your theft of their energy”. Your identity needs to be made whole before engaging with others. Co-dependency is unhealthy, unrealistic expectations on others cause relationship burn out and poor mental health can be draining on those around you.
It’s time to clean up the mental mess. Take ownership, get professional help, and learn how to regard yourself realistically within the world. It is not all about you. As a Christian we know our identity is in Christ, we will never fill the God shaped hole with anything else. So despite what is going on in our lives or has happened in the past – we can be free of the mental mess. We can break the chains that bind us when we believe the lies of identity a family of origin or sin has placed on us. It’s time to break free. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 states, “We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.”
One of my favorite songs about breaking free is by Zach Williams and is called Chain Breaker. He has gone through many self-induced struggles (proud obstacles) and has suffered from the mental mess of sin (much of it self-induced). He surrendered to Jesus and has broken free from the chains of addiction and living for himself. His music is anointed and has healing power for the soul. Another great one is Fear is a Liar. I personally suffer from PTSD from a work injury and the mistreatment afterwards by medical professionals and a work supervisor. That song helps me think clearly that I do not have to be bound by those chains, the people who were against me that were bitter and hurt people. I have forgiven them, I know they need Jesus too, they have their own mental messes to clean up before they are capable of letting go of their mental messes. I am in treatment for my PTSD and cleaning up my mental mess, I am free in Christ and I am daily seeking renewal of my mind by reading His Word.
Lisa Terkeurst from Proverbs 31 ministries has a great book called It's Not Supposed to Be This Way and a new one Good Boundaries and Goodbyes ( and a must read Forgiving What You Can't Forget.). These are biblically based books that can help clean up the mental mess when those we love, or people in our lives hurt us with their behaviors.
God wants us to be free of all our mental mess – self-induced or at the hand of others. He has given Lisa the gift of sharing her pain and freedom in these books (and many other best sellers). I recommend them and plan book clubs on them in 2023.
If you are interested in a book club in 2023 on, Good Boundaries and Good Byes, let me know! I’ll save you a spot!
To start 2023, I am doing a book club on Atomic Habits by James Clear. He is the author of the no. 1 New York Times bestseller, Atomic Habits. The book has sold over 5 million copies worldwide and has been translated into more than 50 languages.
Atomic Habits is all about how we need to create new habits. We can create bad habits or healthy habits, based on the negativity we allow in our lives or the positivity we seek to become healthy. Jim teaches us how habits are created and gives practical ways that you can build new habits. He is not a Christian author but has lived what he writes about. His tips are practical and I love his work! He is not a neuroscientist but a student of his own life and writes about how he built new habits when life’s circumstances forces him to do so.
Building new healthy habits is a huge part of cleaning up our mental mess. If you’re reading this I think you want to can move past things that hold you back or negative experiences that you haven’t let go of. I invite you to step into a life free of chains, walking as your best self and living with the power of the Holy Spirit because you have chosen to surrender the mess to Jesus Christ. Nobody can keep doing the same thing over and over and expect a new result. You need to change your thoughts, investigate your reactions roots and actions to create new healthy habits based on the Truth of God’s Word to eventually change your lifestyle.
Join me in my January De-Clutter challenge where you will not only work on the mental mess but be given structure to de-clutter your home and life. (link to declutter challenge above)