Green Flags
Most literature out there talks about the red flags we need to look for in a relationship. We look for warning signs like; “Is your significant other consistent or are they a liar? “ If they are doing one thing and saying another, it’s a red flag to remove yourself from the relationship. There are countless other red flags for relationships that we can come up with. Magazine articles and tabloids are full of red flag titles. Red is the color of the month (February), but not one we want to see in a relationship.
Have you ever thought of the opposite ideas? What are the green flags that should be looked for in a healthy relationship? When was the last time you asked or were asked that question? Green flags refer to good traits or qualities about someone. They are like permissions to proceed and continue with a relationship. How many articles have you seen covering that topic? Very few I’d bet. February recalls relationships – ones to celebrate with loving gestures, and maybe those that have caused us pain. The movies, magazines and social media are full of hearts and messages of love.
I invite you to look at your relationships and do a mental check for green flags. Start off with a few questions to see if your relationship is a healthy one:
1. Is the relationship equal and supportive?
2. Is the love shown unconditional?
3. Is the attraction you feel on many levels and not dependent on status, cash-flow, or sex?
If you can answer yes to all the questions above, the relationship has a good chance it is a healthy one. Here are more green flags to look for in your relationships. If you can answer “Yes!” you’ve got a healthy relationship, it’s one worth your attention and effort as long as it is mutual.
· Is God the center of the relationship, each person’s individual lives?
· Do you see self- responsibility (verses a blame game)?
· Are they supporting your personal growth?
· Do you both practices self-care?
· Are they self-reflective? Are they an active listener?
· Does this person have long-lasting friendships?
· Do they display empathy? Do they apologize when they are wrong?
· Are you able to vulnerable in their presence and are they vulnerable as well?
· Are they self-sufficient? Do they give you space to be an individual?
· Do they have and participate in healthy hobbies?
· Are they able to communicate openly face to face? Are they open to being asked questions?
· Do they set their own boundaries and honor your boundaries?
· Do you feel respected? There is no pressure. Do they stop doing things you tell them that make you uncomfortable?
· Do you share common heart values and core beliefs?
· Can you confront that person with facts and have a clam, are rational discussion without denial, blame or lies surfacing?
The point is, we need to not only pay attention to the red flags that we are all so aware of, but also look for and acknowledge the green flags as well. Communicating your true feelings, core beliefs and being able to compromise without changing are crucial to creating and maintaining a healthy relationship.
If you’d like to improve your relationships, enhance your overall well-being or work on your Soulistic Vision, I’m here to help. Contact me at Janelleb.Baldwin@SoulisticWell-Being.com for questions regarding health coaching . Here’s what I can offer you! To sign up for health coaching, visit my online store!